Do You Suffer Emotional Abuse in Your Relationship?

There’s nothing worse than being abused, especially in a relationship. When people talk about abuse in relationships, most of the time, they talk about physical abuse. Of course, this too is awful and should be discussed, but another form of abuse you should be aware of is emotional abuse. When it comes to what counts as emotional abuse and what doesn’t, people tend to have more tolerance than they should. They don’t see it as serious as other kinds of abuse just because you don’t have any visible marks. Nonetheless, don’t be fooled; emotional abuse is actually a pretty serious thing, and sometimes, it can even lead to the abuser being imprisoned.

“It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.” — Aisha Mirza

So, let’s take a look at what constitutes emotional abuse.

 Intimidation and threats

When one partner is using intimidation and threats to control the other, it’s usually by shouting and making their partner feel insignificant and small. Soon, the intimidated person loses all of their self-confidence and can’t stand up for themselves.

 Criticism

Any criticism is considered abuse. Usually, it’s in the form of sarcastic comments, name calling or insulting something that the other person wants or does.

 Undermining

If your partner is undermining you, they are dismissing your opinions or making you doubt it. If you try to complain, they accuse you of being oversensitive and that you don’t know what you’re talking about.

 Being made to feel guilty

This is a type of emotional blackmail where one partner makes the other feel guilty about anything they want to do. It is usually the simplest things such as going out with friends and not spending every minute, every day with them. When you want to do something they don’t like, they manipulate you and make threats; some even go as far as saying that they’ll kill themselves.

 Economic abuse

Your partner doesn’t involve you in planning how to distribute your finances, forbids you from finding a job, withholds money, and stops you from feeling financially independent.

 Telling you what you can and can’t do

It is pretty obvious from the examples above that emotional abuse is all about control. Sometimes, it’s not even subtle. If your partner is explicitly telling you what you can and can’t do, where you can go and who you can see, as well as what you can wear, they’re abusing you emotionally. Therefore, you should get out while you can, or even worse before the emotional becomes physical abuse.

 How do I know it’s abuse?

Sometimes, people think that the word abuse is a bit too strong for what’s going on in their relationship. As such, they make excuses for their partner. Regardless of whether they were in a rotten mood or had a stressful day at work, nothing is an excuse for the type of behavior listed above. Of course, everyone has bad days and sometimes snaps; it is in our human nature. However, if your partner keeps doing the same things over and over again, you need to realize what you’re dealing with.

Emotional abuse is, unfortunately, an everyday occurrence that happens to both men and women everywhere. Sometimes, it is even harder for men to admit to other people, and even themselves, that they’re being abused because they fear being laughed at and told they’re ridiculous.

Therefore, learn to recognize the abusive behavior. If your partner is often making you feel bad, you’re probably a victim of abuse. If they’re controlling you, making you feel small and like you can’t even raise your voice to defend yourself, you’re a victim of abuse.

Most abusers are the way they are because they grew up in a similar environment. Maybe a parent or a guardian behaved in such a way, and they learned it from them. As such, they think that kind of behavior is normal.

 What to do?

The first thing you need to do is find someone to talk to about this. Friends, family, or even look for professional help. Getting an opinion from the outside is good. Next, talk to your partner and tell them everything that is bothering you. If they understand and stop what they’re doing, then that’s great. However, if they do not, get out of that relationship before you completely lose all the self-esteem you have left and work on finding a better and healthier relationship.